fretlessandfree!

A great deluge...

2009-10-02T04:15:00.000-07:00

This was a great shock to everyone here specially in our place which were directly hit by the typhoon named Ondoy. We didn't imagine that floodwaters would rise up to cover our car which I took to a more higher ground, but nothing has helped, it sank in the middle of the flood. And nothing I could do to spare it from the raging water. I don't know how much would be spend for the repair to keep it going.

To Sherlock

2009-09-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

Hey friend look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
'Cuz it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spend with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

I confess...

2009-06-01T01:18:00.000-07:00

Being a wife only revolves on being a wife per se. Being a woman to your husband. For me it's not as how it is to be a mother. Being a mother is a humongous responsibility. It is not easy as how it is to be a wife. I chose to be a better mom to my kids rather than to become a good submissive wife to my hub. Don't condemn me first. He's got another woman, so what do you expect me to do? I chose not to cry over spilt milk...not even worth crying and ruining my days. I've got to be alive and going. I am a mom first and foremost. I know I've got some shortcomings being a wife but, I'd rather accept that there are things that don't usually work well for me. Acceptance work well for me here. But if only I was more submissive, I wouldn't have much problem now...oh but no...I'll rephrase my statement, I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. For a holier-than-thou judgment, don't crucify me...I just see things on a positive side of it. There's life after separation, as I underwent through it. But looking back, if only I was tooled with some foolproof ways to change his attitudes or let's say even mine too...maybe we're still here coping. But for me, I accepted my fate and I can honestly say that I am now a certified single-mom...and I'm [...still] happy!

Time heals and reveals.

2009-05-25T22:20:00.000-07:00

'Coz am sick and tired of someone....who's just like a bitter pill to swallow.

All is well!

2009-05-25T21:53:00.000-07:00

A day after the mediation conference at DTI, we received a call from Nokia Care that the unit was ready for pick up. And so I just want to thank Ma'm Cleo of DTI [if I am not mistaken...] who help us settle things in positive way. From the start naman I was so cool and settled dahil alam kong malaki ang chance ko dito. She even said, " pasalamat kayo at mabait si ma'm [...that's me] kung hindi eh pwede pa kayong maipasara at masuspinde and lisensya nyo". Also I want to thank Lalaine and Lou who is the AM of the store where I got the celphone...for attending the mediation promptly. Ayun after almost a month of waiting eh nagagamit na siya ng anak ko.

Big thanks...dahil mismong mother board ang pinalitan nila, which is dapat lang...salamat po!

How did it happen?!

2009-05-16T00:33:00.000-07:00

Last April 26th my son and I went to buy 5310 Music Express, it wasn't that unit we were asking at first. But since mas higher siya don sa hanap ng anak ko, they insisted that we rather take it instead of what we're looking for. So okey...nagkaundo, maganda naman so we bought it plus another cheap and ordinary one. We paid a little less than ten thousand. I was a bit disappointed when my son told me na may problem after we got home. After a little dilly-dallying so to be sure kung may problem talaga...we brought it back to the store located at Robinson's Metro East. I won't at first tell the store at baka may legal impediments. When we were there na, and told them our woes, they told me to bring it to Nokia Center at Ali Mall. Wow gusto ko ng magtaray kasi why do we have to go there and do this and that?! Patience...patience is a virtue daw...be polite. Would you believe we bought it on the 26th of April...brought it at Nokia Center to avail of the warranty on the 28th...a day after we bought it, my gosh...di pa nga nagagamit may sira na siya. And I was shocked na the problem in on it's 3rd level na daw of diagnosis. Gee, with cooler nerves I went na lang to ask assistance from the good office of DTI. Now I got a text message prompting me to attend the mediation hearing on May 22nd at 2pm. Akalain mo, sa dami ng araw nataon pa sa enrolment ng anak ko sa UST who's a firstie pa naman. I just hope to attend to both but my priority is maka-attend ng hearing since feeling ko eh naapi naman ang anak ko don. Imagine sa akin pa napunta yung defective unit na yun. Bumili ka ng cash and yet wala ito sa kamay mo since may problem nga. I don't know what will happen on the 22nd. If the owner is liable to have it change ba ng another new unit since the Nokia Center gave me a certification that there's really a problem nga and declared it defective. And the question is, bakit siya pumasa at nalagay sa market kung defective nga siya? Well I don't know what seems to be the problem. Good thing I got certification na malala talaga ang problema niya! Sana naman mahiya yung owner and to save everything eh palitan na lang nila yun ng new unit or else ibalik nila ang pera ng anak ko. It'll be as easy as that...well I'm keeping my fingers crossed...

OMG!

2009-04-24T01:02:00.000-07:00

Was so depressed the past few days and nervous and jumpy and irritated, so when I browsed this site of mine I accidentally hit the wrong key...and I created another one like this. I thought I would never again recover this site...sigh...thank G I manage to regain everything! I can now wear a wide grin now and happy indeed I recovered everything. Wow, pure luck hit me indeed today. And I believe it strikes thrice...hopefully. :) I couldn't tell how it dampened my spirit knowing that I would lose this site in no time. Really I have got poor dexterity when wasn't at my best. It always happen naman to the best of us di ba? What is important is...narecover ko na...and I have all the reason to celebrate. I love this blog.

So am welcoming myself again here...

I love this one...

2009-04-20T19:10:00.000-07:00

One yucky story...

2009-04-14T22:47:00.001-07:00

One time we just decided to have another nightstroll and we found ourselves sitting in Riverbanks Grill side. My kids ordered their choices like grilled pusit stuffed with tomatoes and onions, inihaw na tilapia of course, and grilled chicken bbq. One large group arrived and don din sa side namin napiling umupo. It was the 2nd stall...I hate to name names of course...since this happened a week ago and the intensity of my I-don't-know-what or how to feel na dahil tumagal na ito bago ko ma-post...huhuh! Now we were having table talks when suddenly I heard something I did't like. I searched for it and voila!!! I saw the man who's in charge grilling...huhuhu...he was unclogging his stuffed nose...shit!!! Forgive my words pero he's so gross talaga. I call the attention of the young male-owner, he then went to talk the one with stuffy nose and we saw them na nagtawanan pa. Shucks!!! So kadiri...and I told myself never to eat again don...where? At Riverbanks...

Money can change things so easily!

2009-04-13T05:08:00.000-07:00

...and I do understand greed sometimes

Always here and there!

2009-04-04T00:05:00.000-07:00

Problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes between success and failure.

[...and it always call forth our courage and wisdom. But most of the time we attempt to skirt around problems rather than meeting them head on]

Minding your own p's and q's!

2009-04-03T23:21:00.000-07:00

I was asked about what topic I hated most to discuss specially in my other blog, and I answered...everything about sexuality. And almost everyone agreed specially again that that group is specifically for mom bloggers like me. That's why, this blog was born. I just want to tackle something in which my ideas will flow on smoothly without being told of some certain boundaries and blah blah blah's. I love the third sex, be it the lesbians or the gays...whom I find it so easy to be with. But to flaunt it on air where children could get a glimpse or hear whatever they would gonna say about their thing, I don't exactly like it that way. For me, they might imbibe whatever from what they would hear. They don't need to blurt out all the truth or just throw away all [discretion] to the winds. We all have our own judgment, freedom, rights, discrimination, choices, and pleasure or options but sometimes we need to be a little discreet naman paminsan minsan lalo na't very sensitive ang topic di ba? They say silence means YES. But silence sometimes is also synonymous to NO. If we do not say yes, it means NO. When some people remained tightlipped about BeBe Gandanghari's coming out, it means that like me, I respected his choice, it's his call. We have to respect that. But like Vice Ganda have had once said on TV, maraming gays ang hindi yun minaganda. Simply coming out is just okey. Pero what they didn't like daw ay yung changing his name and crossdressing (?)...and for me, as parent I don't want some kids to imitate what they are seeing on TV. I just can't imagine how CV felt and feels at the moment whenever she would see Rustom cross-dressed with long curly lashes and flowing hair. I noticed na may resemblance nga silang mag-ex. And also as parent, I don't condemn gays, pero mas gusto ko namang straight ang anak kong lalaki. But if ever, maging ganun man, anak ko pa rin siya. And I will always be a mother. So ang bottom line is, don't flaunt it na lang. It is still not so 100% accepted in our norms. So let's just respect each other na lang...parang meeting halfway...wag sosobra.

Drink Your MILK!

2009-04-02T07:33:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, while staring out the window of a bus I am in along EDSA, I noticed passengers in the bus alongside us looking up the video on board so intently. I caught a glimpse of the movie, it was a Sean Penn starrer, a film about Harvey Milk. Mr. Milk was a politician in America and the first openly gay elected official.

I wondered while watching the very attentive passengers inside the bus if they were all amazed by the great Sean Penn (he won the Oscar for the role) or if they were interested in the story of a gay man portrayed by the once-bad-boy-lover-of-The Material Girl.

I remember Rustom Padilla (who is he? he's dead, right?) transforming himself into a "she" named BB Gandang Hari and I didn't hear that much ripple from the Pinoys. Are we now more open-minded and matured to accept that there are third sex in the society? I hope so!

Why are there gays? That's like asking, why are there males and females who produce gay offspring? Who has the answer to that? Surely, gays & lesbians are humans that came from humans, too! Closet or open, your sexuality is your right. Harvey Milk fought his battles for gays to be recognized and get rightful rights, let us fight our prejudice and see everyone as equal. Let's respect each other, 'migos and 'migas! Cheers to Egalite'!

By: Cocker Spaniel

Really?!

2009-04-02T04:57:00.000-07:00

I was walking with my lovely dog early [this] morning when I met a male-neighbor with a shih-tzu also. Syempre neighbor kaya hi and hellos. We exchanged pleasantries about how we are as dog lovers...blah blah blah. When he told me that nabibili lang naman daw ang paper or document to prove the dog's breed naku nagulat ako. I couldn't believe unless mapatunayan ko yon. Mine has documents talaga. Does it mean na pwedeng nabili lang yun? Of course not...I bought them from my good cousins who live in San Juan. They breed dogs talaga. And how could PCCI accepted my papers if it were just from paper mill? I do believe naman that their papers are real!!! Eh di sana di ako na-approve ng PCCI?

Hmmmpf! He told me it could be bought in T--------'s daw. Well...I don't know...

Good dog...good treats!

2009-03-26T19:28:00.000-07:00

Wheeew! Last night we went to OL Antipolo but decided to stop by first at mini stop near the entrance of Village East CR. I bought some bottles of mineral water and a Fab with my favorite Siopao Bola2. I gave one 500 peso bill. I received four 100 peso bills for my change. Now I was shocked when my son texted me that the 100 peso bill I left for him for his food budget for lunch was a fake. Grrrr...nakakahiya. I wonder how it would be if it was a thousand bill. Now I learned something. I will bring na lang lagi my small peso detector. It was just there in my drawer waiting to be noticed...and now's the time. Grrrrr for that little mistake of mine. Kahit pala 100 ay pine-fake pa?!

2009-03-25T16:45:00.000-07:00

COCKER SPANIEL in the house, 'migos & 'migas! I loove saying that name...cocker spaniel...like a Spanish %$#*...hmmmm.

So there I introduced myself. Like Diamond, I am a dawg, too..I mean dawg-lover. Yup, nice to be around people who love animals. After all, humans are animals, too, right?

Diamond has nice pets, what's yours? You pet yours? I mean, your pet, how do you pet your pet? Proper pet grooming is very important but the most important of all is RPO, that's Responsible Pet Ownership.

Pick up after your pets, don't put clothes on them coz they don't have sweat glands, trim their nails, hairs and hairs inside their ears, bathe them, feed them complete dog food, walk them on a leash, spay them, neuter them, etc, etc...be a responsible pet owner, 'migos & 'migas! Til next time!

By: Cocker Spaniel

Here's to you, CS!

2009-03-19T18:29:00.000-07:00

We'll be having a new guest writer here...under the pen name of Cocker Spaniel. Just wait for whatever he/she can share with us. She's a very good writer, am telling you!

What can you say?!

2009-02-03T09:39:00.000-08:00

Words to live by...

2009-01-23T03:39:00.000-08:00

Cherish things while you still have them,
before they're gone,
and you realize how precious they really are.

Life can only be understood backwards,
but it must be lived forwards.

Everything in life is temporary.
So if things are going good,
enjoy it because it won't last forever.
And if things are going bad,
don't worry because it won't last forever either.

Destiny is not a matter of chance,
it is a matter of choice;
it is not a thing to be waited for,
it is a thing to be achieved.

A journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single step.

Never cross a bridge
without knowing how to swim the tides.

If you could not add years to your life
Add life to your years.

- author unknown

Is it?!

2009-01-21T15:09:00.000-08:00

Sentimental irony is a dog that bays at the moon while pissing on graves.

The unburdened...and the burdened

2009-01-19T14:31:00.000-08:00

I wonder how's my dear friend's doing...he's in constant fear and so confused about his sexuality, err she's with his wife and his only child just right now but my gosh he told me he's fantasizing...of someone who also has same accessory as he has. And he told me he even envied RP who has now gotten his much desired freedom about his preference. Btw, I saw RP (Rustom Padilla) via Chikaminute and he's sporting a new image...cross-dressed...with poise, very effeminate, oozing with confidence and you can see the inner peace in his aura. Well as part of movie promo am sure, and she quite enjoyed the moment.... I admire RP for having been so vocal about how he feels right now unlike before when everything was closeted...with a brood of good looking true-blooded Adonis...it's very hard to start the discourse about his sexual choice. Now the siblings respected his own decision about this issue. They are right now very supportive of him.

But on my friend's end...he's still hounded by his confusion. Told me he's a bi. I just couldn't fathom how it was being a bi...or in our tongue...it means silahis. Whoah...I have lots of friends who's gay...and it is already acceptable when you say you're gay...but I wonder again and it is quite incongruently confusing to me if it's about bisexualism. You want women now...after a minute you want men? I don't know what to say but I keep on researching about this issue. I like to know more as well as understand more everything about GLBT. I am more confused now than how he is. And I also wonder if the wife knows all about her husband's personal dilemma...she should be at least the first to know about this thing being the wife. AFAIK, and according to him, 'coz he always confides in me...their sudden union has not ended up to bed but instead he put the fire in his own hand. I don't know how I would feel if I was in his wife's position. Wheeew! The sad part when you became an instant confidant, you also become an instant pseudo- adviser...half of the yoke is on your shoulder. I just hope that in time...he'll be able to find peace just like RP did...it's hard to portray a role when you're not in front of a camera.

An oxymoron: effeminate father
The father is actually wanting to be the mother...

Picture attached I snagged from PBB blog, I used this picture because I can relate to that scene wherein RP finally admitted to Keanna that he's a gay, just how my friend discloses to me the confusion he is into right now.

PS/...will go back to this one after some rests...check spelling and proofread...but now...will s.o. to rest...I need to...

Is it always true?

2009-01-15T02:47:00.000-08:00

The acorn doesn't fall far from the oak...

Read this!

2009-01-14T21:36:00.000-08:00

2 D wrld U may B 1 persn , bt 2 1 persn U may B D wrld!

NEKAi! (not everyone knows about it) Parent nowadays should be wary and should at least learn some of those indistinct text lingo and acronyms specially if they have children who are so engrossed or hooked using the internet or even ordinary cellphones. But please don't pry. Just be on guard. You'll never know...there are some links that might be very enticing to their young minds...just a click away. Or even those simple text messaging, sometimes we tend overlook some simple things like this. Children are so Adctd2txt nowadays... so you better be on guard or else... you'll never know how things are going. Sometimes they'd just put PAW...or PAL...well check that out or you will be left out. :)

Will be AFK...BBS...ASAP...for the continuation[...] b4n...K...EOM

Sleepy mode...

2009-01-14T01:22:00.000-08:00

I overslept this afternoon...and when I woke up I found out that I am all so alone and no one is in the house...and I feel so disoriented but finally I'm coming around now. I feel famished. Well as it looks like I have nothing to blog...I don't know why...my coconut is still not working so well due to too much exhaustion this past days of rearranging everything here.
Early this morning I remember...while I was preparing the breakfast, I saw my mini pin running to and fro...when I saw he's eager to catch that little creep under the sink. I stomped my feet to divert his attention so to stop him...well he just bit my toe. Oh dear me...he's too aggressive when he's up to something and always agitated unlike the other one. But it's okey...he's still lovable.

Daisy dukes

2009-01-06T17:03:00.000-08:00

It is an extremely tight fitting denim shorts...from a fictional character of Daisy Mae Duke, from the American tv series...The Dukes of Hazzard.

When heart speaks...

2009-01-05T04:35:00.000-08:00

He gain'd from heav'n ( 'twas all he wish'd ) a friend...

Welcome 2009!

2009-01-01T00:01:00.000-08:00

MyNiceSpace.com

New Year Myspace Comments

Reckless and stupid affair

2008-12-31T09:59:00.000-08:00

Looking back on it, she couldn't believe that she had been so naive...and so desperate to prove her womanhood and independence. It was the only relationship in her life that qualified as a "fling,"
the only time she had ever been swept away. For that man, for no other man before or since, for that man alone, she had put aside her morals and principles and commonsense, heeding only the urgent desires. She had told herself that it was Romance with a capital R, not just love but the Big Love. Actually she had just been weak, vulnerable, and eager to make a fool of herself. Later, when she realized Mr. Wonderful had lied to her and just used her with cold, and cynical disregard for her feelings, when she discovered that she had just given herself to a man who was utterly without respect for her and who lacked even a minimal sense of responsibility for what he had done, so she had been deeply ashamed. Eventually, she realized there was a point at which shame and remorse became self-indulgent and nearly as lamentable as the sin that had occasioned those emotions, so she put the shabby episode behind her and vowed to forget it. She accepted that it was such a foolish and such regrettable decision she had ever made...and adults could sometimes be just as dumb and confused as little kids. It made her want to cry by such foolishness...she just made a complete fool of herself.

(only an excerpt...)

Murphy's Law

2008-12-28T04:45:00.000-08:00

Are you also familiar with what we call, Murphy's Law? That If anything can go wrong, it will... and this axiom or statement is generally accepted true. Well, the best thing to avoid this is to find a way to circumvent it or simply avoid it. But sometimes things do happen, and if it does, the best way is to find the best solution and face it head on.

Lazying just right after Christmas...

2008-12-25T18:04:00.000-08:00

Yup, am sleeping away my post-Christmas exhaustion just by reading and reading in bed until I get tired and put my weary mind to slumber. I just can't find time to think about what to blog. My mind is not working I guess. Yesterday I went out just to buy another book on sale. But to my dismay I didn't find any Sidney Sheldon book on the shelves. I just had one Leigh Nichols' TWILIGHT. FYI, he is Dean Koontz so I just grabbed it for posterity reason. I have had the latest TWILIGHT in my book collection but I still grabbed it when I saw it since it was a rare edition when finally LN decided to use DK instead. And yesterday, I had these CRADLE AND ALL by James Patterson, and Anne Rivers Siddons' UP ISLAND. This Siddons is my very 1st...and I just can't wait til I get hold the book and get started reading it. But right now, am still enjoying the best part of SS's THE SKY IS FALLING. I only stretch up away from bed when I feel my neck hurting from being a log the whole day. Opening my yahoo emails from time to time and answering some mails promptly and like this...updating my blogsite a little...just for the heck of doing so, for the meantime. My mind is in a sleep-mode...I am so engrossed readiiiiiing. Please forgive me just for now.

Celebrate!

2008-12-25T05:00:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to all.... :)

Roman festal mood and merrymaking...

2008-12-24T11:09:00.000-08:00

In a few hours...come Christmas Day. Whoah! A time to get love...and to give in return...and to share. The spirit of Christmas seems to hone everyone...and everybody is frantically anticipating the day when our Savior was born...when Jesus gave life to our every hopes. A lot of reason to celebrate..families get together to spend the holidays.

to be continued...while am multi-tasking...fussing with my pans and kettle...and everything

A mother's lament...

2008-12-24T00:17:00.000-08:00

We're at the mall for some last minute Christmas rush...wheew! I would always feel that heady feeling. I just couldn't take that whirling crowd panorama. It always give me that lightheaded and nauseating feeling. Well, I came across with someone who gave me a brief smile, and I threw this...do I know you and have we met before facial expression. She went in front of me and still I couldn't place who she was. After some exchange of pleasantries, I remember her...the mother of my dau's schoolmate. I felt for her gloom as a mother who have had lost a son. Wow, I felt so guilty that with a very little concerns, I felt like I was sitting on needles. The fast few days I became edgy and very sensitive. I must admit that compared to her agony of losing a beloved child, who's at the prime of his career...with so much dreams left...mine was very simple and petty. While she had lost a son. After that long tete-a-tete, and getting her number, I just couldn't help but gave her a light hug. I pray that God will always give her the courage and strength to be able to go on.

My Immortal

2008-12-21T18:13:00.000-08:00

Some good memories of a good father...my hero

2008-12-21T07:47:00.000-08:00

A crucial point...

2008-12-20T18:22:00.000-08:00

I was on the brink of signing out to rest for awhile since I was as always...multi-tasking again to exhaustion. Cooking...washing some soiled clothes...since it was all done and we have had eaten lunch too...think I have the feel to go back to bed after being up at 5am kicking my legs, while everybody's still snoring in their crib...arghh!
Let's tackle the issue...my daughter's bestfriend, a young guy...2 years her junior is in a gloomy mood. Why? His grandma, on his father's side...btw, I have learned that he still have yet to see his biological father. Both parents are estranged. Poor young boy. The grandma insists that this boy take the journey to priesthood trail instead. This coming semester he'll be going to take up the exams on priesthood which is Theology I guess. I don't know the exact course on this matter. I have a cousin who really must have loved being a priest. He is right now serving his mission in far away Africa. Indeed it's his passion to serve people. But this young guy who has a dream of his own away from what his grandma thinks and wishes for him...is putting the young guy in a selfish box repressing his own true identity and freedom. I wonder how he thinks now that it is only a few months away from now. He will be put in exile inside the seminary that he never dreamt of...an out and out violation of decision making. I just hope I didn't have to push my children like this in any manner. We have the right to choose what we think we like to achieve as long as this won't hurt nor prejudice anyone. For my daughter's friend...I just hope everything will turn out well. Wheew! What a way...to live your life if this is going to happen. Only the person has his freedom to choose what's best for him. Please don't make things harder for our children. Don't make them an extension of our self whims or dreams. We as parents are obliged to help them in the most manner we can do. Do not try to suppress their freedom as long as it is just on the right track. We are here to help and guide but not to implement the militaristic obey-first-before-you-complain rule. Give them a chance to live their lives.

I was there!

2008-12-20T17:38:00.000-08:00

Yup, I was one of the spectators who flooded to see them live at Nagoya Dome for their 2008 Lost Highway Tour. Indeed I felt so lucky...and blest too being one of the audience in the nearest arena...I love this band. I love everyone in the group. Bon Jovi...Richie Sambora...Tico and one in keyboard, mea culpa...I missed the name.

I am woman...

2008-12-20T08:48:00.000-08:00

I graduated high school from which girl to girl relationship was a common thing. A lot of lesbianism (not that serious one) was accepted...those who went sporty and, as a matter-of-fact they treated me as one...so I took everyone for a ride. I told myself...go with the flow...but honestly speaking I knew all along that I was indeed a girl inside. But my ways, I was kinda tomboyish, maybe because I grew up with strong character. I loved to be with my father most of the time in the farm and we would always talk about things life was made of. He was my hero. I learned a lot of ABC's in life. How to be strong and be principled. So maybe because of this, they mistook that I was indeed a lesbian. There were times that girls would send feelers, but honestly speaking I haven't had had any moments dreaming to be in the company of a woman like me in a suggestive moods or any. I love my preference and I respect my friends who are mostly lesbians. Time came that I learned how to do make up and act rather womanly now because it's the way I feel. Well, that was a choice indeed and I like it that way. Right now I am married and sad to say...my marriage wasn't so lucky at all. After long blissful union...it was marred by a third party and due to some misunderstanding and a lot of differences too. It is quite a painful thing to tackle but I believe I was left with no choice but to accept things as they are. My children will only serve as an anvil of the blows, if me and my husband would choose to hammer each one. Acceptance is the best tool I guess, so I took everything in stride and now it is just a simple matter to me now. But still there were times that I would just breakdown and cry. I don't know...maybe I was badly hurt and bruised inside. I was carried away...but going back, I am telling this that inside and out...I am a woman. And that is my choice.
And indeed I am truly happy the way I veer...away from my friends' preference.

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

CHORUS
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

CHORUS

I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
Oh, I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong

FADE
I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman

If you're not the one

2008-12-20T06:09:00.000-08:00

Between you and me

2008-12-19T05:40:00.000-08:00

I pride myself for being again an ear to listen to someone who in a way became so close to me. A very good friend of mine...a dear heart. It is always an elation if one comes to me and reveal something that seems to be like Damocles sword hanging on his head. Once again, I am always only a positive listener. I only gave him my 2cents worth...and make it sure not to even hurt his pride. I love to be a shoulder to lean on especially if one is really reaching out for help. My friend is a bisexual. And for me, I think he has somehow heaved a deep sigh...now that he has just unloaded that burden. Well...how could I not be a friend still anyway nothing has change at least I've been able to impart some good and uplifting advices that he needed most. And he took it meekly and positively. I have no intention to reveal his identity since I am protecting him and I just hope the confusion will be over. I don't encourage him to develop such...since he too is trying to control everything...to protect his daughter and his work. He is a great guy and I do hope in time he'll get to admit that he has overcome the confusion...if it's still avoidable. But so far...we're not here to condemn anybody.

PS/ To you my friend...I will always be here for you. I am just a text away... **hugs**

Two-spirit in one body

2008-12-18T11:06:00.000-08:00

Well...guess what, another male friend of mine did some disclosure just a few hours ago. He is tall with soft brawny frame at 6 ft tall maybe...swarthy...straitlaced if I were to describe him...and very bright and timid. We exchanged text messages until he threw some hint that he wasn't as happy in his life. He has a 2 year old daughter and he plays undercover. I got it right away and asked if he was straight and there's no need to be afraid to tell me because we're friends and all that. Bullseye! He said maybe he's a bisexual. And according to Wikipedia,

Bisexuality refers to sexual behavior with^[1] or physical attraction to people of both genders (male and female), or a bisexual orientation. People who have a bisexual orientation "can experience sexual, emotional, and affectional attraction to both their own sex and the opposite sex"; "it also refers to an individual’s sense of personal and social identity based on those attractions, behaviors expressing them, and membership in a community of others who share them."^[2] It is one of the three main classifications of sexual orientation, along with a heterosexual and a homosexual orientation. Individuals who do not experience sexual attraction to either sex are known as asexual.

According to Alfred Kinsey's research into human sexuality in the mid-20th century, many humans do not fall exclusively into heterosexual or homosexual classifications but somewhere between.^[3] The Kinsey scale measures sexual attraction and behavior on a seven-point scale ranging from 0 (exclusively heterosexual) to 6 (exclusively homosexual). According to Kinsey's study, a substantial number of people fall within the range of 1 to 5 (between heterosexual and homosexual). Although Kinsey's methodology has been criticized, the scale is still widely used in describing the continuum of human sexuality.

Bisexuality has been observed in various human societies^[4] and elsewhere in the animal kingdom^[5]^[6]^[7] throughout recorded history. The term bisexuality, however, like the terms hetero- and homosexuality, was only coined in the 19th century.^[8]

Just live and let live!

2008-12-15T13:32:00.000-08:00

I have a male friend, but he's a she, a closeted one. One day he disclosed something to me about his preference. He told me he's not a straight guy. Well, I just took it lightly though, careful not to slight him or making him feel off. I knew one when I see one...and said...it your choice, there's got to be no problem. We're not here anyway to condemn people of who they are but how they live their life with other people. If he's respectful and sensible, what's wrong with that? Live and let live, my motto. Then at one time he, and his beau...and me lunched somewhere and we had a great talk. They're both nice and as I believe, the he was also a she...summing it as one example of a G2G relationship. Well the beau is now based in LA...while my friend went to work for Singapore, found a niche there to save his dough and plan for a future reunion with his lover-gay friend. A story of love. Good thing when you're a good and positive listener...they'll trust you...and respect you in return.

Bedrock...

2008-12-15T06:56:00.000-08:00

Like a true diamond it describe a person synonymous to something unbroken...of course I mean in spirit. Let us be like a diamond also that is hard, say in principle and in goals. As human, we are liable to err and slide...but if our foundation is something of a bedrock, how can we ever go wrong? As diamond resists blows to such an extent that an iron hammer may be split in two and even the anvil itself maybe displaced. Let not others push you go wrong. Be firm in what you believe is true and real. Because in the end you'll take responsibility of everything, and not the person butting out beside you. Be wary of those who you do business with. Just be safe in your own quarry.

Hiding behind filigrees...

2008-12-15T06:25:00.000-08:00

I've been managing eight blogsites all at the same time. It's quite fulfilling but somehow I thought of having this one without carrying my real identity. I just want something like this, different from my other sites wherein my friends knew it was me behind. With something like this, one will want me because they want what I write...and not because they are my friends or playing friends...or whatsoever. No links or not even to promote something. If you want to visit my site and read what I have here, you're most welcome...if not...it's your prerogative and I respect every comments you'll give. Good or bad...
This site is open to those who has problems on any matter. Matters of the heart specially and I am more than willing to be of help...lol...giving you some advices...well good thing if it works well. I hope and pray it will...and who doesn't have one by the way?! Me too...was or had been entangled with lots of problems but when I do give my advices, they were as they said...had been lifted up. Whoah! It's great!
And so...am gonna hide behind my pen name....Diamond
I like diamonds because diamond stays forever.